phone call

me: "hello"
her: "Hi. I'm calling for Emilie Swearingen."
me: "this is she."
her: "My name is __________ and I'm calling from Publix. We tried to send your son a birthday card and it was returned to us. Can I get your new address so we can resend it to him?"
me: "um, sure. But we've moved and don't live near Publix any more (stifled sob)."
her: "that's ok ma'am. You can still go online for the kid games and activities. And we want your son to get his card."
me: "I love you. I love your store. I miss you soooo much. Can you please, please, please expand to AR?!"

ok - I didn't say that last line. But I thought it.